Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say.
The oldest hath borne the most; we that are young
Shall never see so much, nor live so long.
"King Lear" Shakespeare
At times, current generations are inured to the idea of death.
A rapper dies, everybody shouts them out in songs, bites their lines or finds some scrap vocals and creates a "new" song under the premise that they're keeping the slain's memory alive.
When common folk die, folk are quick to put'em on a R.I.P. t-shirt with some cliche saying.
But when you stop to think about it, it reminds of your own mortality.
A few years ago, I had a discussion with my mom about it all.
She wondered why I lived in a semi-paranoid state with a numerous amount of firearms, extra locks and bars on the door, always feeling pressed. She wondered, why if I had so many positive things going on around me, I still chose to live so wreckless.
I had to go ahead & breakdown to confirm for her what she already knew & had heard but of course didn't want to believe.
Momma I always been puttin in work on these aggins & who knows if or when it's gonna come back to bite me in the ass or if God's gonna forgive me.
To tell the truth, I prolly cried that day too.
Time has passed and I don't live half as wreckless.
At the same time, I know just because I took myself out the game that the game didn't stop. The game doesn't change, just the players.
So for now, I live & enjoy each day as much as I possibly can knowing that when the time comes, I did it as best I could.
And when the time comes, if I get to the pearly gates, I think whoever's holdin the books will know that I did what I had to do, what I wanted to do & what I thought was best while I was on earth.
Yeah...we lived savagely.
We was in this world...but tried our best not to be of it.
God Bless The Dead
Playa Fly - "Nobody Needs Nobody"