It's a late night and you and your boys done left the club. None o' them chicks in V.I.P. was trynna come home with you.....even though you and your niggas pitched in on a table and ONE bottle of Mo' (which is such a fitting name, cause them greedy hoes was Mo' than happy to drank up all yo shit).. When the club closes, yall spend a few minutes outside trynna parking lot pimp, but when it becomes achingly clear that all o' these hoes is either a) frontin, or b) gotta work in the mornin, yall say to hell widdit and roll out 6 deep in your boy's Honda Civic. After yall finish your chicken and egg plates at Waffle House and shoot the shit with all the ex-cons on the grill, you finally get to the crib and start goin through your cell phone for some late nite action: Kisha aint home. Tasha aint home. Shonda aint home. Meredith aint home. (Yeah, I know she white but fuck that......its all pank on the inside, and you really need to let one off tonight.) You even call your faithful, 6 in the morning, last resort jumpoff cause its the weekend that her kids are at they daddy's house, but even SHE is strangely unavailable tonight. "Ungrateful heffa..," you say to yourself. The love below start talkin to ya (c)Dre, so you figure fuck it and make that frustrated, blue-balled drive to the 24-hour porno store. Immediately, you walk past the gay cruisin niggas posted up outside and go straight to the 'Ethnic' section. You pick up two All Dat Azz joints, and take a joint out the bargain box with this random Latina chick you saw on Onion Booty gracing the cover. You head to the counter and pay for your smut, while the cashier shoots you that look like, "Its one of THOSE nights huh, young blood?" As he wraps your DVDs up in that nondescript brown paper bagging (you know, to protect your 'privacy'), you start thinking like Ron Burgundy about what stroke youre gonna use for tonights episode: "What will it be: the Corkscrew? The Lefty Lola? No, no wait the Head of Operations........" You leave the store, arrive home, pop in the DVD and plop down on the couch..eagerly waiting for that right scene to rub out a nice, frothy batch of man-sauce to. You finally click on scene 3 in the Chapter Menu, which results in optimum nuttage and complete satisfaction. 30 seconds later as you lay there in post-masturbatory bliss, stomach and fingers all covered in millions of future abortions, your phone rings. Surprisingly, its Keisha: "Hello." "Hey baby, waddup.I saw you called me." "Yeah, but that was over an hour ago. Im fitna go to sleep now, Ill holla tomorrow." *gettin mad cause you aint feelin her* "OH SO YOU DONT WANT ME TO COME OVER, NIGGA? WHAT HAPPENED?" "Cherokee and Mr. Marcus happened, ho." *click* Now, I'm sure that I'm not the only male on this site who has acted out the aforementioned scene at LEAST twice in his life. I bet damn near every nigga on here got at least 2 gigs of porn on they hard drive right now. But for me at least, I think my torrid affair with porn might be on its last legs yo.....the thrill is almost gone... For the record, I have NO PROBLEMS with porn as a business. I like porn because its honest. Porn clearly says, "This is for adults, and if you sell this to kids we will lock yo ass up." I have MUCH more respect for the porn industry than I do for an 'entertainment' industry that tells 13 year-olds that the hot New Song of the Day is about gettin some head.....but lemme stop before I offend niggas.....God forbid I actually make some sense...... For as long as I could remember tho, I always secretly wanted to be like a porn star ..or at least just fuck like one.. I mean, take away the STD's, the annoying light fixtures, the film crew, and the inescapable ball sweat from another man that steadily drips on you like Chinese water torture during the double penetration scenes, and its a pretty normal job.. I remember the first time I stumbled across porn at a relatives crib..A nigga was like, 8 or 9 years old and was trynna watch a movie til my mama got home from work.....the title on the tape said "Coming In America," but I figured 'ahhh, its probably that Eddie Murphy joint, my uncle just labeled it wrong.....' Boy, was I wrong.....lmao.... When I popped that shit in the VCArrah, my jaw hit the floor and stayed there. I was disgusted.....yet strangely fascinated. 'These women seem to like these men,' I thought.....'maybe thats what I gotta do to make these women like me'.......then I took that joint out and put in some gay shit like Care Bears so my mama wouldnt suspect anything.... So, as a nigga got older and finally started having sex, I always found it funny when girls would tell me that they enjoyed being with me. I found it funny because I wasnt even doin it for them......I was just performing for the cameras in my mind. Even when I tell wifey that shit now, she think I be playin.but I'm serious. This aint just sex, this a performance, girl. I came to put in work. 'Lights, Camera, Action.......yo freak is heah!' I thank porn for giving me that mentality yo..... But nowadays....and I dunno if this has to do with me gettin older or the fact that all my homeboys are havin daughters now or what, but I look at porn with different eyes these days.....its kinda like takin advantage of handicapped people in a sense.. I mean, in my eyes, theres no such thing as a well-adjusted female porn star. I know a few may claim that theyre the exception to the rule, but fuck that shit yo, theres a million other ways to make a buck other than cum-swapping and taking multiple dicks up your ass on camera. Women pay a higher price for promiscuity than men, and they KNOW this. A porn star chick could find the cure for cancer and win a Nobel Peace Prize.....shell always be known as that Nobel Peace Prize winner who got horsefucked by Lex Steele and Byron Long. So any woman thats WILLING to pay that price for a few dollars is somewhat damaged in my eyes. Mosta them broads are either victims of sexual/emotional abuse, rape, or in the words of Chris Rock, 'just missed a few hugs.' So in a sense, they're mentally handicapped by their past traumas. Most niggas wouldn't fuck a physically handicapped girl, so why would you fuck/patronize/exploit a chick who's mentally handicapped? I know I'm prolly gettin ahead of myself, and got niggas thinkin I'm actin all high and mighty and uppity and shit....honestly I dont give a damn what niggers think of me. This is just some shit on my mind that had me thinking. Porn/strip clubs, etc. dont hold the same thrill like they used to, and although I'm still somewhat fascinated with it like most niggas.....that shit wears on my conscience at times.......I cant even front yo..... My porno days are coming to a slow, gradual end....but until then.... One o ya'll niggas got a laink to Phatty Girlz 7? Tay This has been a Real Nigga PSA(r), sponsored by the Percy Miracles Foundation.