What you'll read below is a friend's recant of what Dave said @ a recent standup he performed @ Warner Theater in D.C. this past Saturday, as a small part of his comedic routine. It was too engaging not to pass along and there was no need to try to restate it because it was said good enough in it's original form.
Respect to MJPapa for allowing us to share it with you.
First off, Happy Birthday to Dave. He turned 33 last night and performed at the Warner Theater in DC. His wife and two sons came up on stage and the Howard University Marching Band surprised him at the end of the show.
His comedy was on point and he related his $50M contact to the life of Iceburg Slim, a Chicago pimp, who wrote a book about his life called, aptly, "Pimp".
In short, he told the story about a prosititue who was good for 2,500 tricks. She was called the "bottom ho". After about 2000 "miles", she wanted to quit--said she was all used up. Slim had to make a decision whether to cut her loose or ride her out for all she was worth and he called to meet her in a coffee shop.
Slim told her that he couldn't work with her anymore and that they needed to part ways. He asked that she turn one final trick for him tonight and she agreed. His instructions were clear--go to the motel across the street and knock on the door to a room where a man will be waiting. Slip a bit of this powder into his drink before doing the business and wait for him to pass out. When he does, take the briefcase on the table and come back to the restaurant.
The bottom ho does exactly as Slim tells her and heads off to the motel. Minutes later, she returns to the diner in a panic and tells Slim that something went wrong--she gave the man all of the powder and he was unconscious. Slim tells her he never meant for the business man to take the whole dose and they proceed back to the hotel where Slim checks his pulse. He then dials a phone number and soon later, a doctor shows up. After a few moments, the doctor pronounces the man dead. The bottom ho starts getting really scared and says, "We killed him!!"
Slim corrects her and says, "No. You killed him. And I'm here to help get us out of this." He tells the doctor and the prostitute to wait inside the room and he goes out into the night. An hour, or more, goes by and both the ho and doctor are terrified that Slim may never come back. Just then, Slim returns--now with two more men and a carpet. It's then that Slim opens the briefcase, which is filled with money. He pulls out two large wads and hand one each to the men. They take one look inside the room and know what to do, rolling the business man off the bed and up into the carpet, haul the body down a flight of stairs into the trunk of a waiting car and drive off.
Slim the pulls out another stack of bills and hands it to the doctor who thanks him and leaves. Slim then tells the bottom ho to grab her things and they exit through the bathroom window so as not to be seen by anyone. On the way out, the hooker is still stunned and what just transpired. Slim leans in real close and says, "That just there was a secret that you can never tell to anyone. Ever. We now have a bond that is unbreakable."
The hooker understands this and Slim allows her to keep working for him. She works for another year and ends up giving him 3,500 tricks - a thousand more than she was worth.
In the end, the whole scene was made up. The doctor was a friend of Slim's who happened to have a lab coat. The two cleaners were taxi drivers he met on the street. The money and briefcase belonged to Slim and the dead man was very much alive--Slim staged the whole thing. He closed his show with this story and said, "This is THE GAME. And when you can figure out what happened, you'll understand why I went to Africa".
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8.29 Stray Shots Text File Download
8.29 Stray Shots Changelink Page
